Cebuana Girls - Dating Resources

The Fear of Dating

The Do you remember the line from the movie, "When Harry Met Sally," in which soon-to-bemarried Marie and Jess are lying in bed after consoling their friends, Harry and Sally? Marie turns to Jess and says, "Please tell me I will never have to be out there again!"

There is a good chance, if you are reading this article, that you and/or a close friend are back out there, again, in the dating arena. For many, the re-entry to meeting new people and dating is downright scary; it is the last thing they truly want to do. I am sure that most of us, at some point in our lives, have uttered a similar phrase to the one that Marie shared with Jess. It is unfortunate, today, that relationships end at such an alarming rate. These endings put us back in that place we all detest. Once again, we must force ourselves back out there to find that special, unique person with whom to share our love and our life.

Some of us have no problem returning to the dating scene. We feel it is like riding a bicycle: we never forget how to do it. Others, though, are left with unresolved hurts: self esteem issues and traumas from past relationships. Many feel, based on past experiences, that it is just not worth the effort: they are prepared to go it alone. Some may find themselves suddenly and surprisingly single, after having been in a very long-term relationship. Today it is not uncommon to find people single again after 10 - 25 years of being in a loving relationship.

Each day I meet single men and women. I hear the excuses of why they are not dating and trying to meet the one for them. Excuses like:

· I will never love again; my ex was the only one for me.

· I do not know how to do this dating thing.

· I have trouble meeting people.

· I am too old.

· I am not attractive anymore.

· I have children.

· My job is too demanding.

· I have no time.

· I will never trust someone again.

· I am not capable of loving.

Shawn Nelson, MSA. 10