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MARRIAGE
CONTRACTS. "That
article of yours, 'So Near and Yet So Far,' has worried me to an extent I am
ashamed of. To my 'judgment' that article is disingenuous. It is not so
much that you jumped on that poor soul with hob-nailed shoes, but
that you formulated the 'jump' quite as the husband might have done.
That is, if she would repent and change her course, she would soon
find that he was all right, and - inferentially - all the trouble was of
her making. Not one word on the other side! You even quote your own
experience against her. My dear, did you really find that your
'trouble' was of your own making, and did you really change ANYTHING
except your own amount of distress during the process of disintegration?
Marriage is the only contract which society does not promptly admit
to be broken when either party refuses to fulfill his obligations -
as agreed to. And in view of the custom of ages, and the instinct in
woman formed by such custom (when instinct makes the establishing
of Individuality the very hardest thing in life for a generous
woman), I think that your implication against the woman, trying with all the
light she's got to keep her side of that very one-sided contract is
simply - cruel! I wish I could get at that girl and tell her that her only
chance for happiness is through the paradox 'Whoso will not lose
his life cannot find it.' Whoso will not 'let go' of the love which
his five per cent judgment claims as his only righteous chance, cannot
inherit that which the ninety-five per cent would attract if the five
per cent were 'offered up' to the spirit. This is the first time I have
ever disagreed with your point of view." Jane. That article,
"So Near and Yet So Far," has brought forth volumes of comment, most
of it highly favorable, and nearly all of it from women themselves.
But among the writers were three critics, and among the critics one of
the brightest women I know, whose letter appears above. And she says
that article is to her disingenuous. Of course it is, for she has not
yet arrived at the point of giving up her own way. She is still a
Pharisee of the Pharisees - on the surface. She is proud; she knows she has
done her best to bring things right - according to her judgment of
right; and she does hate to acknowledge her foolishness! She will
"hold fast her own integrity" as long as there is a shred of it left! Don't I
know? Didn't I do exactly the same thing? Of course. But the pressure
of the great spirit of love, wisdom, justice, was too much for me; I had
to give up my judgment; I had to acknowledge that there must be
the same spirit expressing in my husband's judgment; I had to let go,
be still and get at his point of view. Jane, too,
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