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can restore
it. If marriage is not a love contract let it at least be a harmonious
business contract. If you can't, or won't, adjust yourself to your
husband, then leave him. Don't stay and half-do your part of the business and
cultivate hate and contempt. It's hell. Get out. I have known
several couples who lived years in comparative happiness after love had
flown; who were kind to each other, considerate, business-like.
The wives made pleasant homes and the husbands came and went at will.
In their spare time the wives developed their personal interests and
"lived their own lives," as critic number two advises. When the
husbands took cranky streaks the wives simply made light of it to themselves,
and forgot it as soon as possible. They lived on as comfortable
terms as if the wives were simply first-class hired house-keepers;
little crankisms were all in the bargain. Eventually every one of
these couples separated, and nearly all the parties are now happily
married. And every couple parted amicably; each being satisfied to
terminate the old partnership. To me a
divorce is not a disgrace, but a family row is. And I suspect that most
divorce rows are worked up to drown guilty consciences. Neither has
done his best by the other, and he knows it; so he raises a great row to
fix attention on the other's shortcomings that his own may escape
observation. Until a man
and woman have succeeded in living up to their home privileges in
a manner befitting honest and intelligent man and woman, they can't be
sure that they are not fitted for a real loving union. Friction over
small things obscures vision and judgment, and hate hides the
lovableness that must lie in every being. Get rid of the rowing over little
things of every day life, and you will be able to love as much as your
marriage will permit; and you will be free to dissolve the entire
partnership if you desire. Did I really
change anything? Yes. Is it "anything" to bring peace and quiet
pleasure and comfort and appreciation where their opposites were wont to
hold bacchanale? Yes. No woman who
honestly tries the course I have endeavored to outline will ever
doubt that she really accomplishes something; neither will she regret. Here is a word
every married woman will do well to heed as long as she lives with her
husband: If you can't have your way without a fuss, then try his with a
good will. Peace be unto
you; peace, which is the foundation for all you desire.
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