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THE
FAMILY JAR. "If a man
and woman love each other and are every way suited to marry should they
yield to the opposition of his grown daughter?" M.A. This question
in varying forms comes to me often. It always stirs within me something I
used to call "righteous indignation." And incidentally it makes me
smile. Translate the question into Plain English and anybody can answer it
without hesitancy. Put it this way: When two Individuals know what they
want and the whole world approves, should they go away back and sit
down because a third Individual tries to interfere with their inherent
right to the pursuit of happiness? Of course not.
A man or woman old enough to have a grown daughter is old enough to
know whether he wants to marry again. Not even the most precocious
daughter is a better judge than her father as to what is best for his own
happiness. Ah, there's
the rub! It is not his happiness she is concerned about. It is her own.
A new marriage would interfere with the daughter's plans. She would have
to give the chief place to the new wife. She would have to give up a
share of the prospective inheritance she has more or less consciously
been counting upon. So she opposes her father's re-marrying. But apparently
not on these grounds - dear, no! Her father is "too old," or "too
weakly," or the intended wife is "not nice." The daughter conjures up a
dozen excuses, but never the real one; of which she is not fully
conscious herself, - and doesn't want to be. The parent's
"duty" to children is great; far greater than the child's duty to
parent; but parental self-sacrifice should certainly not be continued for
life. A grown daughter is an Individual, who should stand on her own
feet and make her own happiness without curtailing the happiness of
parents. Let her leave
her father to a renewal of youth and happiness; or let her gracefully and
kindly accept her rightful second place and use her loving
energies in helping to make bright the home. A sensible,
well trained, loving daughter will do one of these two things. A sensible,
well trained, loving parent will consider his daughter's feelings and
will do all he can to gain her willingness before he
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