unhappy, and fail to "pass" as soon as they might.

 

Remember, that contempt for each other is at the very bottom of all

marital unhappiness. The practical man despises his wife's impulsive

idealism and tries to make her over. The wife despises his "cold and

calculating" tendencies and tries to make him over. That means war, for

it is impossible to make over anybody but yourself.

 

Because the man despises his wife's tendencies and she despises his,

it never occurs to either to try making over themselves, thus helping

along the very thing they were drawn together for.

 

If Tudor's picture holds two people who are always equal though

utterly different; whose future actions are an unknown quantity to be

taken as they come and each action to be met in a spirit of respect

and inquiry, with a view to understanding and learning from it; if over

and through all his picture Tudor spreads a glow of purpose to

preserve his own respect and love for her, at all costs; - if this is

the sort of picture Tudor makes in the silence he will surely realize it

later.

 

It requires but one to strike the keynote of respect and personal

freedom in marriage; the other will soon come into harmony.

 

You can readily see that all marital jars come from this lack of

equality in the individual mind. If a man thinks he is perfectly able to

take care of and to judge for himself he resents interference from

another. On the other hand if he believes his wife is equally able to

judge for herself, he never thinks of interfering with her actions.

Of course the same is true of the wife. It is lack of respect and

confidence which begets the making-over spirit in a family, and from

this one cause arises all in harmony.

 

Individual freedom is the only basis for harmonious action; not only

in marriage but in all other relationships of life.

 

And individual freedom cannot be granted by the man or woman who

considers his or her judgments superior to the judgments of another. A

man must accord his wife equal wisdom and power with himself, else

he cannot free her to act for herself. A woman must accord her husband

that same equality, or she cannot leave him free.

 

It is human (and divine) nature to correct what we believe to be wrong.

Only in believing that the other "king (or queen) can do no wrong," lies

the possibility of individual freedom, in marriage or out.

 

The man or woman who knows he or she is believed in and trusted is very

careful to deserve that trust. Did you know that? The sure way to have