only change ourselves.  Frustration comes from trying to manipulate those around us when we really should be concentrating on us and our own behaviors.

 

Being self-directed—taking personal responsibility for one's own actions—empowers both husband and wife. Rather than feeling victimized, each mate gains greater control over his or her life. A positive, constructive effect begins to transform the marriage. Counselors know that when one mate begins to change for the better, invariably the entire relationship improves.

Many couples are committed to marriage in spite of the self-centered, self-gratifying, self-oriented influences of the world around them. When a husband and wife, struggling to get their own way in marriage, begin to shift their frame of thinking from a demanding to a sustaining and supportive one, they can happily find themselves in a second honeymoon.

Specific steps must be taken to pave the way to a renewed and revitalized relationship. Marital happiness requires demythologizing marriage, fairly evaluating unrealistic expectations and replacing them with the healthy realities of a fulfilling relationship.

What positive steps can you take to rebuild your relationship, to put real romance and love in your marriage?

 

 

PAVING THE ROAD TO ROMANCE

 

There are a number of specific things that can be done to rekindle that romance.  We’ll address a lot of them later on in the book, but first you must lay down the foundation before you start down the road.  Becoming self-directed in your quest for a better marriage is a great way to start.  Now let’s get a bit more in-depth.