many ways. But beneath the surface many differences lie hidden.

Those differences become more pronounced under pressure. Rather than negotiating differences to fit one's selfish desires, try to view your mate's differences positively, as strengths.

Look around you. The earth's biological systems work independently and interdependently. The ecological systems are interdependent. Birds, insects, flowers and fruit trees all function independently within their species. Yet there is interdependence when the fertilization of flowers and trees often depends on both birds and insects in search of food.

In a similar way, a husband and wife can benefit from their differences, thus making two much stronger than one. Women are usually more intuitive, while men are more analytical. Rather than negotiate away such differences, try accepting your mate's strengths.

When key decisions are made for both husband and wife, the wife's intuition and the husband's analytical makeup can combine for a better decision. Combining strengths, rather than letting them be a potential source of conflict, can be a powerful factor in building a successful marriage.

Realize that anything good – like a good marriage - will require some effort and some work.  Some mates assume that if they have to work on their marriage there must be something wrong with it.

Perhaps this assumption comes from a naively romantic outlook toward marriage shaped by popular entertainment and culture. Most who plan to marry assume their marriage is different and therefore impervious to marital problems so common to the rest of us. What every married couple soon finds out is that, although marriage is wonderful, it is also sometimes quite difficult.