confront the challenge of incompatibility, their first instinct is to flee while rationalizing to themselves "this will never work, we're just too different."  It really doesn’t have to be this way.

Arguments will occur in your marriage.  It’s a fact.  Those arguments can wear away at your good feelings toward your partner and wreak havoc with the way you get along.  Learn how to fight fair, and you won’t have to worry about your fights eroding away at your romantic feelings.

With commitment, courage, and the willingness to exchange stale, unconscious behavior patterns for fresh, healthy choices, you can learn how to transform the differences into catalysts for growth, instead of fodder for heartache. Here are nine suggestions to make the differences between partners make lovers out of adversaries.

       Our first reaction to conflict is to run away from it rather than face it.  It’s natural, but running away doesn’t help resolve the conflict, it only escalates it.  Your goal is to co-create and discover a new way of being together, a resolution that satisfies both of you. Therefore, each of you needs to speak your half of the problem and listen respectfully and with genuine curiosity to your partner's point of view.

       First of all, you need to define the issue.  Truthfully express what is disturbing you in as much detail as possible.  Don’t leave your partner in the dark when it comes to what is troubling you.  Use your words and express yourself fully.  This is the essential first step toward conflict resolution.

Realize that it’s alright to feel your feelings.  Experience and communicate your feelings as honestly and openly as you can in the moment you are feeling them.

Remember that you care.  Keep in mind that ongoing relationships are a mosaic made up of many facets, and