there is more to your partner and your relationship than any one issue.  You need to work through that issue and not let it define who either of you are as a person.

Beware of self-sabotage.  Stay aware of what's going on inside you during a rough spot in the relationship, don't allow old negative behavior patterns to swamp the present moment.  This could be the worst thing you can do when in conflict with the one you love

It’s easy to assign blame all on yourself when there is a problem.  Just remember that it doesn’t matter who has the initial problem, what matters is that you resolve it in a way that is best for both of you!

Change your mindset.  Open yourself to the fact that any issue can be understood and interpreted in a variety of ways, otherwise you'll continue to stay in a rut and progressively dig the hole deeper with every conflict.

Take personal responsibility, but not too much!  Ask yourself in what way or ways do you contribute to the situation that upsets you or your partner. Rarely if ever in an ongoing relationship does a difficulty arise that has not been contributed to by both partners.

Remember that your partner is not you.  Learn to internalize and understand that your partner is not you. Your resolutions will be respectful of your differences only when you both find ways to empathize with the other's point of view.

Be consciously creative.  Hold the other in your consciousness as you want to be held. Appreciate and value the other's experience in the ways that it is different from yours.  This is especially helpful as it will keep you from transferring blame onto your partner when it’s just a problem that needs to be solved.