dreams when they don’t become reality as quickly as they think it should.

 

In the past, a divorce was difficult to obtain.  Only under extreme circumstances such as abuse or adultery were you granted a divorce.  Then the courts started allowing irreconcilable differences as a reason to divorce and then the no-fault divorce came along.  This meant all you had to do was live apart from your spouse for 6 months and then you could get a divorce without anyone taking on the blame.

 

Now, a divorce is easier to get than a driver’s license.  You can even download divorce papers on the internet these days.  Fill them out, get signatures, and file with the court.  Poof, you’re no longer married.  Sometimes this can be accomplished in the same day.

 

Think it’s a travesty?  Maybe it is.  But it’s reality.  So why do marriages fail?

 

While the answers to that question are many, there is a growing body of research to suggest there are four negative risk factors that create barriers to oneness in marriage and increase a couple's chances for marital failure.

 

First, negative behavior patterns can have a hugely negative impact on a marriage.  This occurs when partners respond negatively to each other continually upping the ante so the conversation gets more and more hostile. 

 

When a conversation escalates into an argument, this creates tension that can eat away at a marriage.  Each negative comment increases the level of anger and frustration, and soon a small disagreement blows up into a major fight.