They bring these ideas into the marriage and hence have their own baggage of beliefs regarding what is tolerable and intolerable in a marriage, what they have to give their spouse and what to expect in return

They bring these ideas into the marriage and hence have their own baggage of beliefs regarding what is tolerable and intolerable in a marriage, what they have to give their spouse and what to expect in return. 

 

Writing the book, “For Better or For Worse”, Heatherington and Kelly illustrate this point more clearly when they mention the different ways men and women choose a partner: 

 

“Women approach love as informed consumers…they kick the tires, look under the hood, run the motor, check the mileage.  Women love love, but being practical-minded, not enough to ignore potential defects.  Good looks and romantic love matter to a woman, but in considering potential suitors, a woman also looks at the practical, such as a suitor’s economic prospects, emotional stability, trustworthiness, and what kind of father he will be…Despite a reputation for practicality, males come off as hopeless romantics.  They are much more prone to fall head-over-heels in love…and also more prone to idealize the object of their affection.  If the bodywork is good and the grille pretty, often a man will buy on the spot, no questions asked.”[1]

 

 



[1] E. Mavis Heatherington and John Kelly.  For Better or for Worse.  W.W. Norton & Company, New York, 2002.



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