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Friendship between couples generates wholesome feelings of
goodwill and fidelity. Our spouse – our
friend – has our interests at heart, will not betray us and will be our
staunchest supporter. Friendship also
makes spouses stronger; this strength is reinforced by the joy of shared
history, of nostalgia and plans for the future.
Romance is a good thing, and we could use heaps of it when
our relationships get rocky. But mature
friends are aware that romance can be a barrier to friendship. Why?
Because romance obliterates the darker side of our existence – our
fears, anxieties, and insecurities. Yet,
it is those fears, anxieties and insecurities that naturally draw us to our
friend. Friendship in a marriage brings about the recognition that
flux, de-stabilization and disruption are what Dr. Rhodes calls the “first
steps in the dynamic process of repair, rebuilding and renewal.”[1] Familiarity does NOT breed contempt. It breeds content. A sense of contentment equates with satisfaction, warmth, and unwavering assurance. Sharing a life together in love and
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