|
Husband and/or Wife
|
Couple
|
|
Is anxious
|
Very few interests or traits in common
|
|
Is very impulsive
|
Many sexual partners before marriage
|
|
Is Self-Conscious and easily hurt or overly
sensitive
|
Short courtship before marriage
|
|
Suffers from depression or feels ‘blue’ much of
the time
|
Pregnancy was the mitigating factor that prompted
the marriage
|
|
Has low self esteem
|
Inability to resolve conflict
|
|
Is very vulnerable to stressful situations
|
Immature ideas about love and relationships
|
|
Is impatient or angry much of the time
|
Poor communication skills
|
|
Holds grudges or stays angry for long periods of
time
|
Parental or family pressure to marry or
disapproval of marriage
|
|
Is very opinionated or feels they are always right
|
Couple is younger (age 20 or under)
|
|
Is jealous of friends or acquaintances
|
Poor marital role models which may create mistrust
of spouse
|
|
Unsympathetic, has no compassion for problems of
others
|
No education or knowledge about relationships
(e.g. experience with compromise with friends, relatives, co-workers)
|
|
Dysfunctional family experiences during childhood
|
History of ‘cheating’ in the relationship
|
Remember that even if you have some or all of these traits, you are not doomed
for divorce.
It
is just more likely that you will have problems in your marriage and that
you’ll need to work through some significant issues to gain your footing.
You
may not be able to change your childhood or your relationship history but you
can change the way you act and react to things – you can change your behavior –
if you put forth some effort!
For more severe issues, like clinical depression or
a drinking or drug problem, for example, you may need to seek professional help
to get things back on track.
The one thing you must
always remember is that no one marriage is like another.
So, while there are
guidelines and rules for general marital health, you have to do what is right
for you and your spouse.
If you are trying to decide
if your marriage is in trouble, consider these factors: