Jeannie and Bob have known each other for ten years.  They got married eight years ago and they had great plans for a lifetime of wedded bliss. 

 

Neither one of them is quite certain when the marriage started to deteriorate. But it did!

 

At first, they stopped talking about the important things, and then even the everyday things seemed out of reach. 

 

Eventually, they began to argue. 

 

After about a year of that, Jeannie says she decided that things would never be good again.

 

“First I thought I had just picked the wrong guy”, Jeannie says.  “Then, I decided that we were no less happy or miserable than our other married friends and I resigned myself to living with the average marriage.”

 

Without an intimate life partner, Jeannie started to get lonely. 

 

She dove into motherhood, giving birth to John shortly after the couples’ three-year wedding anniversary. 

 

When John started nursery school and her job was not enough to keep her interested, she went back to school for evening classes, to finish her Masters degree.

 

Bob says “I was just happy that we weren’t fighting any more.  Of course, the only reason were WEREN’T fighting, was because we rarely saw each other.” 

 

Bob started working more hours and staying late at the office. 

 

Then he started having dinner with his co-workers after hours because Jeannie was usually tied up with John, spending precious time with her little one after a long day.

 

When Bob and Jeannie did spend time together, they were tired from long hours at work and at school. 

 

Juggling John’s care and upbringing with their busy schedule didn’t leave them the time or energy to talk much and physical intimacy was rare and hurried.

 

To their surprise, Jeannie got pregnant again when John was only three, and it was then that Bob suggested marriage counseling. 

 

“I felt like I was living a lie at that point,” he remembers.  “We had a beautiful son, successful jobs and a great house and cars, but we weren’t talking any more and I didn’t feel like I was married.” 

 

Jeannie remembers thinking that this was the end and wondering how she would raise two children on her own and still have a life. 

 

Luckily, Bob was serious about counseling.

 

He wasn't using the counseling idea as a signal to end their marriage or to let Jeannie know just how much trouble he thought they had. 

 

He really wanted to get his wife back.