Getting Things Back on TrackOK, so you’ve decided to get your marriage back on track – and your
spouse is just as committed! Where do you start? First, you have to get serious.
Plan for undisturbed time alone.
Send the kids to a relative or friend’s house or go away for the weekend
so you can talk in peace and quiet.
Think of this as your retreat.
Some couples choose to write things down in the first session so that
they don’t have to talk about all the details.
But, eventually you WILL have to talk about it. Whatever gets you started is fine. Just know that you need to get the point
where you can talk things through! It is likely that you’ve given a lot of thought to the things that
really bug you about your spouse, but when you are suddenly faced with getting
these things out in the open, you may draw a blank. Be patient and give yourself some time to adjust to what is happening.
You may have wished for this chance, but now that it is here, you’ll have to
think and speak carefully. It is best to start by setting some ground rules for how you will
discuss the issues. If you do this
upfront, you won’t have to mend fences when someone gets angry or defensive. Consider these ground rules to get you started. You can probably come with some
others on your own! 1.
Allow the other person to finish a thought or a
sentence without interruption 2.
Don’t make faces or sounds or act like you are
judging each other. Just listen! 3.
If you would like to clarify or disagree with
something, do it with respect and don’t raise your voice 4.
No physical signs of threat or angry outbursts!
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