There is no reason you can’t take a moment or two to collect your thoughts before you respond to a complaint or a comment.  Let your spouse complete their thought and finish talking BEFORE YOU STOP LISTENING. 

And don’t interrupt!

Don’t be afraid to ask for a break.  Sometimes, the best thing you can do to avoid a fight is to call for a ‘time out’. 

Just be sure you don’t use this as a delay tactic.  Get back to the discussion as soon as you are both calm and ready to start talking again.

Remember that marriage is a choice.  You aren’t born married. 

You make a choice!

To maintain a balance and your individuality in a marriage, you have to ensure that you can grow and thrive.  Unfortunately, most of us are not taught ‘marriage skills’.  We have to learn them on our own.

We may not know how to communicate with each other, or even what differences are considered normal. 

Like most human beings, you probably have a tendency to believe that everyone feels the way you feel. 

If you are hurt by a behavior, you may not understand why your spouse doesn’t see what he is doing.

In fact, there are lots of variables to consider.  Do ALL men think alike?  No. 

Do all women talk more than all men?  No.

Consider all the possible combinations of personality, background and habits, and you’ll begin to understand how complicated it is to apply standard rules to every marriage. 

Your marriage is unique and it is defined by the kind of person you are and the kind of person your spouse is, the things you both bring to the marriage in the way of experience and expectations.

Of course, we would all like to be right all the time and to get everything we need, but that isn’t realistic, is it?

If you really want to get your marriage back on track, you must both learn to compromise.  Pick your battles and focus on what is important to the relationship. 

You don’t have to fight to win every skirmish!

Emotional maturity is not dictated by age.  A 25 year-old husband may be more mature in his approach to marriage than his 52 year-old neighbor. 

So, how can you make your marriage last fifty years?