Stay Focused!You have come a long way! Ø
You looked
honestly at your marriage. Ø
You decided to
avoid divorce and work through the process to get your marriage back on track. Ø
You considered
your own issues and how to resolve them. Ø
And you made a
commitment to keep improving by using your new habits and techniques. When
things get complicated, try to stay focused.
Working together with your spouse, you can do this! All
you need is the desire and the commitment. Remember,
Tony and Tina? What did you think about
their chances of reconciliation? First
and foremost, of course, they must WANT to improve their marriage. While this couple may seem likely to head to
divorce court, you may be surprised to know that they did decide they wanted to
make the effort to improve their relationship. Did
they succeed? You’ll have to wait to
find out, but here’s how the discussion got started. The day after Tony’s golf game and Tina’s shopping
spree, Tina asked to talk to Tony. She told him that she felt they were headed for
divorce court if they didn’t reach an agreement about their marriage. Tony didn’t want to talk about their marriage. He wanted to talk about the $500.00 comforter
Tina had purchased. He flew into a rage and told her that everything
would be fine in their marriage if she would just be more responsible. He told her that he knew she had bought the comforter
just to get back at him for his golf outing. Tina’s calm approach to discussing their problems
evaporated and she started to yell back at Tony, telling him that they had
agreed to spend the day together and that he hadn’t even ASKED her if it was OK
for him to play golf instead. To which Tony responded that he wasn’t aware he HAD
to ask her permission to do things. He
was, after all, an adult and he should be able to control his own schedule.
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