When you feel the urge to revert to old behavior – to blow off steam and start screaming or accusing your spouse of being at fault – remember Tony and Tina. 

 

With the exception of Tina’s initial approach, NOTHING this couple has done so far is right!  Not if they want to save and improve their marriage.

 

We’ll tell you how things worked out for them a bit later, but for right now, let’s get back to you and your commitment to improving your marriage.

 

Remember to stay focused on your goal when things get tough.  When you are faced with, what used to be, a volatile, angry situation for you and your spouse:

 

Ø      Stop and think.  Take a deep breath and don’t react or get defensive

 

Ø      Don’t be afraid to look objectively at the past and apply these lessons to your future together

 

Ø      Allow room for feelings – anger, hurt, disappointment – but don’t dwell on them or strike out in anger.

 

Ø      Take constructive action.  Don’t try to punish or undermine your spouse.

 

Ø      Don’t try to control the situation.  Allow room for independent opinion and discussion.

 

Ø      Appreciate and reward your efforts and recognize how hard you and your spouse are working to improve your marriage.