Now…Get to Work…and Save Your MarriageNow it’s time for you to
take all of these lessons and apply them in your marriage. Just by recognizing that you
have a problem, and deciding you want to avoid divorce, you have taken an
important step. While your future may be
uncertain and at times the road may be very difficult, if you are both
committed to make changes, you have a great chance at success! When you find yourself
wondering why you are doing this, remember how you felt when you married your
spouse. Remember the hopes and
dreams you had and the reasons you married the person you chose. Unless you are facing serious
issues like persistent spousal abuse, infidelity or drug or alcohol addiction,
you are likely to have a really good chance at improving your marriage and
regaining your happiness and balance. Intimate relationships are
the hardest to evaluate, because it is very hard to be dispassionate about
something so personal. But, to the extent you can
be objective and calm in your appraisal, you will find a lot of fertile ground
in which to sow the seeds of reconciliation. The good news is that you
don’t need any magic formula or expensive courses to get started. As complicated as marriage may seem,
the principles are really pretty simple! When Kennett and Amanda struggled to get back on
track, they found that if they accepted mutual responsibility for their
problems and worked together, they would have a better chance to succeed. Amanda learned that punishing Kennett by refusing to
acknowledge the progress he was making was only making things worse. If she was truly committed to her marriage, she had to
leave the past behind and recognize that Kennett was trying hard to make up for
what he had done before. There is no place for anger and resentment in the
healing process. Talk about what
happened and get it out of your system – in a constructive way – and
acknowledge that you have been hurt and that you must rebuild trust. Then move on! Kennett and Amanda also used some creative techniques
of their own – like throwing the red dish towel to signal the need to talk.
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