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When she comes home, Tony
is sleeping.
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I’ll bet you thought of a
number of ways that this couple could have stopped this day from spinning out
of control.
At nearly every step in this
unfortunate incident, both Tony and Tina could have chosen to take
responsibility for their actions and decided to talk things through with their
spouse.
But, they didn’t!
You may remember that Tina
tried to talk to Tony the next morning, and it didn’t go very well.
What did they do wrong?
Review this second session
and, using your new skills and knowledge of communication and active listening,
decide how each or both could have changed the situation from an escalating
argument to a calm discussion.
Let’s revisit that discussion.
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Here’s what Happened
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How Could One/Both Change the Outcome?
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Tina
asked to talk to Tony. She told him that she felt they were headed for
divorce court if they didn’t reach an agreement about their marriage.
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Tony
didn’t want to talk about their marriage.
He wanted to talk about the $500.00 comforter Tina had purchased. He
flew into a rage and told her that everything would be fine in their marriage
if she would just be more responsible. He told her that he knew she had
bought the comforter just to get back at him for his golf outing.
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Tina’s
calm approach to discussing their problems evaporated and she started to yell
back at Tony, telling him that they had agreed to spend the day together and
that he hadn’t even ASKED her if it was OK for him to play golf instead.
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Tony
responded that he wasn’t aware he HAD to ask her permission to do things. He
was, after all, an adult and he should be able to control his own
schedule.
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Tina
replied that she should have listened to her mother and never married this
jerk.
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Tony flew
out of the house in a rage, telling Tina that he had no idea if and when he
was coming home. His final words: “Don’t wait up!”
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