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For most, the love story
started with great expectations. But,
somehow, it got off track! And, what was supposed to be
a loving and solid, life-long bond, turned into a relationship filled with
anger and silence or skirmishes, battles and disappointment. If you really want to find
an alternative to divorce and to get your relationship back on track, you must
first be committed – BOTH OF YOU must want to save your marriage if this effort
is going to be successful. If there is still an abiding
love between the two of you and if you can still find pleasure in one another's
company, accept your spouse’s flaws, and talk to each other, and if you can
still show affection and love for your spouse, then you have a good chance! It is sometimes hard to break the habits you have formed. But, if you want your marriage to work, you
have to open the lines of communication. Take off your protective armor and stop being defensive and try to
LISTEN to what your spouse is saying. Focus on forgiveness and put the past transgressions behind you. Make a commitment to start again and try to
resolve the conflict and avoid the old mistakes. Above all, learn the art of compromise.
You will never meet ANYONE that exists only to satisfy your every
need. A successful relationship is a two-way street; there will be times when
you or your spouse will need some special attention. The loss of a job, or a family member, a period of depression or
illness, a disappointment in your personal or professional life, or just plan
‘having a bad day’ are all reasons to expect some loving care. And in return, your spouse must see and respond to your bad days and the
critical stressors in your life, as well. While you are in the introspective mode, look at the financial situation
in your family and ask whether financial stress is wreaking havoc with your
marriage. Are you short on money, trying to pay for college or elder care or surviving
on one salary after one of you lost a job?
Does one person spend a lot of money shopping, gambling or buying things
on credit? Be honest about your problems.
We’ll talk more about these issues later. For now, let’s jump into the discussion.
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